Breathe Again
by lovelyladylily22
Summary: Set shortly after the Battle in L.A. (NFA), Spike is healing from his wounds and knows he needs to get away from Angel's shadow. So, he goes to London hoping he'll be able to figure out where to go from there. Buffy, in the meantime, travels to L.A. to find out what went down there. Very Spuffy oriented. Also written for /pages/Buffyverse/161824483973920
1. Chapter 1

(Set after NFA, and heavily Spuffy)  
Against all odds, Spike had somehow survived the Fall of Los Angeles. He, and the others for that matter, had all been sure this was their last stand. But in the nick of time, something brilliant had happened, and the tides had changed in their favor. Of course, Spike, who had been distracted by fighting the dragon, had no idea just what that something had been, and when it was over, he wanted nothing to do with Captain Forehead and the others. He had slipped away quietly to tend to his own, numerous wounds, while the Poof took care of the others.  
But his alone time was short lived. There was a knock on the door of his flat not long after he had sat down with a glass of bourbon. Grumbling, he got up and answered it. On the other side stood Harmony. Spike, whose patience had already run out glared at her.  
"What, Harm? What could you possibly want now?" He glared at her. She took a step back, looking panicked.  
"Angel said you might be hurt, Blondie Bear. I only came to see if you needed any help. There's no need for you to bite my head off." She pushed her way in, watching his face contort in pain as she bumped his shoulder. "How badly are you hurt?" She reached up to remove his shirt so she could take a look at his wounds. Spike pulled away, glaring at her.  
"Hands off, Harm." He moved away from her, walking back to the chair, making it there a second before his legs gave out. He hurt all over, but he was determined not to show it. "I know you better than that. You don't do anything unless it benefits you in some way. So what are you expecting to get out of this one?" She glared at him, fury twisting her face.  
"How dare you, Spike. After everything you put me through? I came here to help you, and this is how you react? Forget you, Spike. I wish I'd never met you. No, I wish you'd never met HER, that's what I wish." She turned and headed back out the door, leaving Spike more sullen than before.  
"Careful pet. You never know what your wishes might cause." Sighing, Spike stood up and hobbled to the bathroom for a shower. The instant the water hit him, he knew just how badly he had been wounded. As the hot water relieved the tension of sore muscles, he sighed. He knew one thing, and only one thing. There was no longer a place for him in L.A. Whatever had been holding him there was no longer as important, and he needed to get out of Angel's shadow. He needed some way to make a fresh start for himself, to be a better man than he was at the moment. So he made an altogether rash decision to return to his roots. He was London-bound.


	2. Chapter 2

She hadn't been in London long. Willow had called and asked her to visit. Something about feeling homesick, Buffy guessed. Still, she wasn't exactly unhappy to see her witchly friend. Truth be told, she was more afraid of what her friend would see when she looked at Buffy.  
Ever since the events of Sunnydale, Buffy had found it hard to sleep. She struggled with dreams, not all of which were entirely bad, but all of which made her feel...sad. And guilty. It had been far too late when she realized the truth. The dreams came every night and connected him to her. She dreamed about the times they'd shared, moments that hadn't meant so much before he had gone. Before he had left her and taken a part of her with him, a part she had tried to keep secret for too long. Now, several months later, she felt...oddly hollow. And she feared that Willow or maybe even Giles would pick up on that.  
What she didn't expect was how busy they'd be. From the moment the airplane touched down, Giles and Willow had given her a list of stuff they wanted her to do, all involving the recently reformed Watcher's Council, and the new Slayers they had been finding all over the world. The constant action was good, however, as it kept her mind occupied. In fact, she was so distracted, that one night, while going over plans for the Council's new headquarters, she hadn't heard Willow until the third time she had repeated herself.  
"Buff, I was asking if you'd mind going to L.A. with me. I don't know what went down there, but the Coven said it was big. It took all of them to stop it. And Xander said he'd meet us there and fly back with us. So it could be sort of a Scooby reunion?"  
Buffy nodded, somewhat absentmindedly, as she was studying a stack of reports Wesley had sent them weeks earlier, but no one had taken the time to study. A twinge of pain went through her, knowing she'd probably have to see Angel. She felt anxious, because she was sure that it would stir everything up again. Sure enough, that night, the dreams were more vivid than they had been recently. And this one most certainly wasn't a memory.  
_ They were walking, picking their way through the headstones. She tripped, and would have fallen if he hadn't been there to catch her. He moved, strong arms reaching out for her. He caught her and scooped her up into his arm, smiling brightly. _  
_ "What would you do if I wasn't here?" The words cut something deep inside her, but her dreaming mind didn't understand why. She smiled at him. All too soon, he had put her down on the ground. She wanted to cling to him, to not let the moment pass, because she knew somehow that it would soon be gone, and the hollow feeling would come back._  
When she woke up, her chest ached and her cheeks were wet from tears. What was even worse? Dawn was standing over her, a worried and knowing expression on her face. Buffy sighed and got out of bed, knowing she needed to shake the dream off or she wouldn't be able to focus. She decided to finish going through Wesley's reports until she had to go meet Willow to catch their flight.


	3. Chapter 3

Little did Spike know that just hours before he landed in London, Buffy and Willow had taken a private plane, owned by the Council, to L.A. He landed, and found a nice place to stay, until he found a decent flat.  
Secretly, he had been saving money for most of his unlife, though he never would have admitted it to Angel or Dru, or any of the Scoobies. That thought, followed by others of the Scoobies' leader, brought a pang of longing to him. He quickly pushed it aside, forcing himself to focus on the present instead of the past. He knew what would happen if he showed up now, alive-ish, on her doorstep. She'd slam the door in his face, or worse. And bloody right too. He'd hidden himself from her for far too long now. Plus, last time he'd checked, she was moving on with her life. Last he knew, she was in Italy with the Immortal.  
He shook his head to clear it, walking to a local pub. It had been far too long since William the Bloody had been in London, and he hoped to reacquaint himself with the area, specifically the darker aspects he planned to fight.  
As he walked out, three girls, none of them more than eighteen grabbed him. He had managed to get away before doing too much damage to them, but he had sustained a long, jagged cut to the side and he had somehow injured his leg. He knew almost immediately that the girls had been Slayers, though judging from their level of skill, they weren't very well trained Slayers.  
He muttered all the way back to his hotel. "What is the Council doing? Sitting around on their arses? I would have thought they'd be focused on training the wanna-be Buffy's..."  
He got to the hotel and everything caught up with him, the wounds from the Slayers mingled with the still healing wounds from the battle in L.A. He collapsed into bed, out the instant his head hit the pillows.  
It was hours later that he woke up, his limbs stiff. Sitting up proved to take more energy than he had, but he did manage to roll onto his back. He turned on the telly to see what was happening in the world, but eventually grew too anxious. He managed to get out of bed, and walk over to the mini-fridge where he had stashed blood the night before. He had just pulled one out when his injured leg gave out, and he ended up on the floor. He didn't like cold blood, but he could feel the need for sustenance taking over. Spike ripped open the container and gulped down the blood, feeling it's effects instantly.  
He fell back asleep, sitting on the floor of his hotel room. He dreamed about her, same as he had every night. She haunted him, adding to the weighty guilt that followed him like a black storm cloud. Usually, the dreams were predictable. The reoccuing scenes were memories of the moments he had been the most oped with her, the night he had found her in the abandoned house being one example. But that night, it was all about the last moment they shared together.  
_ She held his hand, looking him in the eye. He felt she could see right through him. The words came, but they were too late. He knew she was only saying it because he was dying...truly dying. After all, she had made it clear she could never love him. And then, the internal fire had taken him._  
He woke up screaming, believing he was on fire again. The cries died away, as he realized it was just a dream. The ache where his heart once beat was all too real though. He forced himself up, using the nearby dresser as leverage and hobbled to the bathroom, hoping a warm shower would help him forget her at least for a little while. He knew it was pretty hopeless, but he ran the water as hot as he could, and stood under it for quite some time.  
It was a knock on his hotel room door that made him turn off the water. Grumbling, he wrapped a towel around himself and headed towards the door. Opening it just a crack, he found Giles standing on the other side.  
"What in the bloody hell do you want, Watcher?"Spike tried to muster his best glare, but worry for Buffy filled him. Why else would the Watcher who loathed him be there?  
"Spike. Good to see you too. We need to talk." The Watcher pushed his way in to Spike's room, and due to his bad leg, Spike couldn't put up that much of a fight. They stood glaring at each other for quite a long time.


	4. Chapter 4

Buffy had slept most of the flight to L.A. When they had landed, they met Xander. It had been months since the three of them had been in the same city together. Many hugs were exchanged before they climbed into a cab.  
"Angel and the others were staying at a hotel before he started working for Wolfram and Hart. I think they'd be there." Buffy nodded.  
"So what happened here?" Willow's face blanched, a clear indication she knew all the details but was censoring what she told Buffy. With a sigh, Buffy turned to glare at Willow. "Tell me. I'm going to need to know what we're getting into here."  
With a heavy sigh, Willow started talking. "How much of Wes' reports have you read?" Buffy shrugged.  
"There wasn't all that many, and I more or less skimmed them." Willow looked at her, shocked.  
"Well, Buffy, in 'skimming' them, you might have missed a few crucial details Giles and I only learned the other day."  
Buffy blinked at her. "Wh...what are you talking about Will? What did you find out?" Xander cleared his throat, but Buffy held up a hand before he could interject anything.  
"Well," Willow squrimed as she spoke, "as it turns out, someone was maybe...possibly...not quite as dead-dead as we thought he was?" She chewed on her lip, studying Buffy's face. Buffy opened and closed her mouth a few times, trying to figure out what her friend was talking about, and failing.  
"Wh...who?" Buffy was suddenly finding it hard to speak, as an idea occured to her. She tried to shake it, believing it impossible. But when Willow looked at her, she knew. And in that moment, a dam she had been hiding her feelings (unsuccessfully) behind broke. Everything she had been resisting showing since Sunnydale came flooding out.  
Willow sighed again. "Buff, as much as I wish that was all, there's more." Willow closed her eyes, wishing she didn't have to be the one to say it. "Angel and his group took down the Wolfram and Hart Senior Partners, and there was a big battle. Like rivaling the battle with Glory or even the First. It was big. And we haven't heard from anyone, including Wes, since then."  
Buffy took a deep shaky breath. She tried to organized her thoughts into some semblance of organization, before all the questions came spilling out at once. She failed rather miserable. "Why? Why didn't he tell me? Why didn't Angel say anything? Or even Andrew? He must have known! He said he saw Angel when he came out to retrieve Dana...after she..." Her mouth made an 'O'. "After she attacked someone...she attacked Spike? And what about when Andrew was in Rome? Didn't he say he saw Angel there? And that Angel had asked what I was up too?" Willow shook her head.  
"Buff, slow down, okay? Tak a breath. First off, we don't know why they chose not to say anything. If they can, I'm sure they'll explain it. And as far as Andrew, I have no clue if he did see Spike. And if he did, you know Andrew's always shown a...certain admiration for Spike. If Spike...oh say, asked Andrew not to say anything, I bet Andrew would be glad to hold to it. And besides, when Angel went to Rome, there's no way to know for certain Spike was there. But Giles had provided you with such a good cover, I'm sure even Andrew would have been loathe to break that cover."  
Buffy took another deep breath. Willow reached out and squeezed her hand. Buffy closed her eyes against tears building behind them. "I swear to you, Buff. If any of us had known about it, even Giles, we would have told you before now. I know this is a lot to handle, but before we get to the Hyperion, I need you to be in control. We might need fighty Buffy, but we certainly don't need weepy Buffy, all right?" Buffy nodded, knowing her friend was right.  
The cab pulled up outside the Hyperion Hotel. Willow paid the driver as Xander and Buffy gathered their bags. Buffy took a deep, steadying breath before starting upto the hotel. But she hadn't made it far before the door was thrown open and a woman with blue hair and bluish tint to her skin.


	5. Chapter 5

Spike broke the glare first, hobbling over to the bed. "Sit, Watcher. Make yourself at home." He reclined back on the bed, trying to move his weight off his bad leg.  
"I'm afraid this isn't a pleasure call, Spike. I'm here to ask you to leave her alone. She doesn't know you're back. And I would prefer, for her safety, if it stayed that way. I doubt very much I can keep it that way, but possibly she'll believe you died in the battle in L.A."  
Spike glared at him, fury building. "Not that it matters to you, but I did not even know she was in London. Last I checked, she was off cavorting with the bloody Immortal in Rome. And you know what, Watcher? Your opinion stopped mattering to me when you and that ponce of a principal conspired to kill me. So, I'm sorry if I don't take you advice, you bloody git." Pain was making the fury all the more intense.  
Giles glared at him. "All I'm saying is stay away. End of discussion, Spike. You being back will only distract her, and right now, there's too much at stake to have any distractions." Spike noticed something then, but filed it away for later consideration. The Watcher looked much older than the last time Spike had seen him. When he looked back at Spike, Spike was surprised to find Giles looking him in the eyes, in a way he never had before. "Fine. I will do my best to stay away. But keep in mind, old man, that London was my home long before it was yours. I will be a good vampire and keep out of the way of you and your Slayer-squad. But I'm not going to be idle."  
"Is that a threat?" Giles studied Spike's face.  
"It's a promise. I'm going to do what I can to fight the nastys living here. I have a few good leads I picked up last night that I can follow on my own."  
Giles nodded. "Buffy will be back from L.A. in a few days, but I'll find missions elsewhere to keep her occupied until you move on. You need to move on, Spike. For both of you." Giles turned and headed out the door. Spike rested his head back against the pillows.  
"Bugger it all." He closed his eyes, trying to piece together a plan...or at least a coherent thought. But when that failed, he stood up and got dressed to go out and find more information. But before he could, a demon found him. Spike was still healing from his various wounds, and struggled against the demon, even though it wasn't one of the tougher variety. Eventually, he got away, as did the demon. Spike, however, found he was too injured to make it back to his hotel. He found an alley where he could hideout while the sun was up and nurse his now even more numerous wounds.


	6. Chapter 6

Buffy's steps faltered slightly at the sight of the blue girl. The blue girl in turn studied the three Scoobies. Her eyes landed on Willow, and her face twisted in confusion.  
"I know you. Or...my vessel knows you." Angel walked out just then.  
"Oh good. The cavalry is here." He walked over to the Scoobies, pulling Buffy into a hug. She pulled away.  
"I'm angry at you Angel." She sighed. "But we can talk about that later. What happened here?" Angel took a step back, confusion and hurt on his face, but he sighed and led the way inside.  
"A few months ago, a group known as the Circle of the Black Thorn was brought to my attention. I didn't know much about them, just that they'd be involved in the apocalypse. I attempted to infiltrate their ranks, and was successful. The others, Gunn, Illyria, Wes, Lorne and I decided to bring Wolfrm and Hart down from the inside."  
"That's not all who was involved, though, is it Angel?" Buffy glared at him, and watched him actually flinch. He held his hands up in a sign of surrender. With a deep sigh, he spoke again.  
"No. But, Buffy, you have to believe me. He thought it was best if you didn't know he was back." Angel sighed again, slidding into a chair, pain on his face as he did so. "Besides, my guess is he didn't survive, since none of us have heard from him since then. I'm sorry, Buffy." Angel covered his face with his hands. "It's all such a mess."  
Buffy moved to his side. "What happened exactly? All we know is that something big went down, and no one has heard from any of you since." Angel looked up at her. Willow moved closer to them.  
"Wes was giving us reports on a bi-weekly basis, but his report is late. And then the Coven leaders felt something off. That's why we came. No one knew about Spike until Wes' last report." Buffy knew Angel well enough to read his face, even without him saying it.  
"Wes died, didn't he?" Angel nodded. When he spoke, grief made his voice thick.  
"Wes, Gunn, and we are pretty sure Spike all died at some point. Gunn died during the battle. When we killed the final member of the Circle of the Black Thorn, the Senior Partners unleashed...well, they unleashed hell. Complete with a dragon. I lost track of Spike in the fight, so I can't be completely sure. But Buffy, I don't see how he could have survived. Illyria and I barely made it out in one piece, and that was only because of this flash of light that appeared." Willow beamed.  
"That was the Coven's work. They knew something was going down, and said they were helping. They must have done it just in time." She looked at Illyria closely. "Did Ilyria used to be Fred?" Angel looked up, more sadness on his face. He nodded.  
"Illyria is an Old One. Fred was sort of tricked into recieving her essence, and Illyria took over, killing Fred."  
"Why wasn't that in the reports?" Willow studied Illyria with a curious expression.  
"Andrew told us you didn't trust us. Also, Wesley and Fred had been...involved before her death. He took it really hard." Angel glanced at Illyria, who seemed to be getting very uncomfortable. "Look, I'm glad you all are here, but things are unsteady here. Illyria and I are looking for somewhere we can lie low until some of the dust settles." Angel started to stand up, but his face contorted in agony and he fell back into the chair.


	7. Chapter 7

((WARNING: No hate, but I am a very big Spuffy shipper. So yes, part of this is anti-Bangel, though I don't hate Bangel shipper. Just not a fan of Angel himself. So if you're gonna complain, you can stop reading now.))

Buffy helped Angel into a room that proved to be his office. He pulled his shirt off, revealing slashes and gashes stretching all over his chest. "From the battle?" Angel nodded. "Okay, let's get you fixed up. The others are going to go look around town for a bit, so you can get some rest." She looked around for a first aid kit, but didn't find one. She turned to ask him where one was, only to find Angel right behind her. He wrapped his arms around her.  
Buffy pulled away, looking up at him. Longing was clear on his face, but she ignored it. "Angel, things...things have changed. I still care for you, don't get me wrong...but I'm in love with someone else."  
"Oh, right. The Immortal. I forgot about him and you in Rome." He stepped away from her, something very much like disgust on his face. Fury ran red-hot again, and Buffy squared off against her former boyfriend.  
"Get this through your head. I was not in Rome, I've never been to Rome. We didn't know that we could trust you. And we had information that you were trying to trace me. If anyone else got a hold of that information, such as someone who was trying to kill Slayers, it wouldn't just be my life at stake. I was never involved with the Immortal. Ever." Angel opened his mouth but closed it again without saying anything. Quietly, Buffy spoke again, her voice thick with emotion. "There hasn't been anyone since Sunnydale. And no one else feels right."  
Angel glared at her realizing what she was saying. "Him? Really? I mean, I know you said he was in your heart, but I figured after he'd been gone for so long, you'd have moved on. After all, Buff, he didn't even bother to tell you he was back. Shows you how much he cared for you, huh?" He smirked at her.  
Buffy couldn't fight the pure fury at that moment. She cocked her fist back and it hit Angel square in the nose. She turned and stalked away from him. "Shut up, Angel. We have nothing left to say to each other. As far as I'm concerned, the others and I will do what we came here for and then leave. We'll get away from here. Far away."  
She walked out the door, some of her fury dying away. By the time she had found the others, it was almost completely gone. After all, she had always made Angel promise that someday...maybe...they could try again. But she hadn't ever counted on her feelings for Spike. Now, she knew the truth, that they had been there for a while. After all, she still had his stupid skull ring from that stupid spell Willow had done. Even as far back as that, she had felt something. Although she pushed it aside, pretending to be disgusted by him. It worked for awhile, so well, she actually fooled herself. But when she was lost, after coming back from the dead, who was it she had run to whenever she started feeling dead inside?  
She sighed and kicked some rubble, walking over to where the others stood gathered. Just as she reached them, Willow's phone went off. She flipped it open, glancing at Buffy.  
"It's Giles." Buffy nodded and listened to Willow's side of the conversation. "Uh huh. So everything's happening there now? No, no that definitely makes sense. It seems that the demony forces have retreated from here. Yeah, we'll catch the next flight out, Giles. Oh...oh no! Okay, I'll tell her." Willow hung up the phone, but when she looked at Buffy, her eyes filled with tears.  
"What...what's wrong, Will?" Willow hugged Buffy before she spoke.  
"There was a big battle. Dawny was trying to help, but she...she got taken..the girls are out trying to track her down but have no idea where she is at the moment."


	8. Chapter 8

Back in London, a few hours earlier, Dawn cleared her throat, staring daggers at the blonde headed vampire sitting in the meeting room. "So you aren't really dead then?" Spike spun around and blinked at her, nearly losing his balance.  
"Hey there, Bit." There was so much ferocity in her glare, she looked more like Buffy than he ever remembered her looking before, and he actually winced. "I'm sorry pet. I know I should have told you sooner." Dawn slowly walked into the room, until she was standing in front of him.  
"You're damn right you should have told us, Spike. Do you know..." Dawn was suddenly aware of the others staring at her. "Well, lets just say it would have made things better if some of those who love you knew you were back, Spike." She took in his appearance. "How badly are you injured?"  
Spike shrugged, and winced, imeadiately regretting the action. "I'm fine, Bit. Nothing that won't heal. 'Sides, if the old Watcher's information is correct, there's a big fight coming. And I swore I'd protect you until the end of the world. I'm not giving up on that promise now." Dawn smiled and pulled him into a hug. At first, Spike stood there stiffly. Hugging even Dawn felt strange, especially given his wounds. But soon, he wrapped his arms around her, holding the girl close.  
Giles cleared his throat. "As much as I hate to interrupt this reunion, Dawn, you're supposed to be in school. And Spike needs to go see the healers. Everyone else, we need to prepare for anything. We can't be sure that it's just the dragons we have to worry about right now." He turned and strode from the room.  
Spike glared after the Watcher, but when the room had emptied of everyone but himself, Ivy and Dawn, he sighed. "Not that I'm not thrilled to see you, pet. But I really need to go see the healer." Spike tried to stand completely upright, but his leg started to give out again. Dawn reached out and grabbed him.  
"I'll help you, Spike. After all, you don't look like you can make it out of the room, let alone down the hall." She wrapped her arm around him and he pressed his weight into her.  
"Thank you, Bit." Together, they hobbled down to the Healer's rooms. When they got there, Dawn had to leave Spike, but she promised to check in once her classes were through. He nodded, reassuring her he wasn't going anywhere. As soon as he said it, relief was clear in her eyes, and he felt a pang of guilt at not telling them he was back sooner.  
The Healer's work was almost magic. His wounds weren't completely healed, but he was able to stand on his own. He felt stronger too, and when Ivy appeared with fresh clothes and pig's blood, he felt a broad smile stretch across his face. He felt good, for the first time in a long time, and it was little wonder why. Being around Dawn and others who knew Buffy well reminded him why he had falled in love with the blonde Slayer, even if he was still certain she hadn't loved him in return.  
He was walking down the hallways of the compound when the call came in. Giles found Spike and relayed the message. The dragons had been spotted nearby, and a team of Slayers were going out to meet them. Giles wanted Spike to join them. Spike agreed.  
Giles followed him out to the van, where a team of Slayers were all ready inside. As was Dawn. Giles started, seeing her there, and tried to convince her to stay behind, but Dawn resolutely stayed put. With a sigh, Giles climbed in the van as well.  
"I promised Buffy I'd keep an eye on you, young lady." was all he'd say as to why, but Spike had the distinct feeling that Giles was tired of sitting behind a desk. Clearly, he craved the action he had come to know while in Sunnydale.  
The van pulled into an old shopping center that look deserted. The girls, and Spike and the Watcher, climbed from the van. Giles gave out weapons to each of the Slayers, making sure Dawn had something as well. "Dawn, you are to stay close to me, or Spike, at all times, understand?" She nodded. "The dragons have roosted here, but we suspect they'll take off again as soon as the sun is up, which doesn't give us that long to find them." He looked at Spike, before he spoke again. "Okay, Ivy, on this mission, you're squad leader. I expect you to behave accordingly." Ivy nodded. "Let's split up, but check in often."  
Ivy and the other Slayers took off in one direction while Spike, Giles, and Dawn took the other. "What happens if we find them, Giles?" Dawn's voice gave away a bit of the fear she was trying to hide.  
Spike put his arm around her shoulders. "You just let us worry about that, Bit. These dragons are bad news. I'd prefer you to stay back. If we need help, you can radio the others, okay?" Dawn nodded, relief in her eyes. They walked for a bit more before coming to a storefront. The shape of one of the dragons was visible in the gloom, even to Giles' un-supernaturally advanced eyesight.  
"Ready?" Giles whispered to Spike, who in turn nodded to him. They headed into the store, the dragon's giant head turning and staring at them with eyes the size of dinner plates.  
"Well, so much for the element of surprise." Spike spoke softly. The dragon roared and rushed towards them. From there, the action moved fast. The dragon picked Giles up in its claws and started moving up the wall, but Spike was there. Unseen by the others, the second dragon had shown up, and scooped Dawn up in its talons. Above the noise of fighting the first dragon, trying to get Giles back, Spike wasn't aware that the second dragon had Dawn...or that it had crashed through the ceiling, letting in the early morning light. Just as Spike managed to injure the dragon enough to get it to release Giles, a beam of early morning sunlight hit him. Flames burst out all over his body, and he fell to the ground, landing in shadows.  
Giles was unconscious when the Slayers found him, and there seemed to be no sign of Spike. The dragons had both taken flight, one of them still carrying Dawn in its talons.


	9. Chapter 9

As soon as the plane landed in London, Buffy rushed to the Council compound. Giles, who had been injured both by the fall and the dragon's claws, was in bed, in the healer's medical wing. When she found him, he explained what had happened, carefully leaving out any reference of Spike. He wasn't sure if Spike had actually survived, and couldn't bear the thought of getting Buffy's hope again just to have them crash down again. So he carefully chose his words, just describing what she needed to know to find Dawn.  
When Buffy went off to find some way to track down the dragons, insisting that Xander and Willow stay behind, but taking a few of the better trained Slayers with her, Willow took Xander to her apartment. Xander eventually left to find a hotel room, and Willow was just about to fall asleep when there was a noise from the hallway outside her door.  
She opened it, and found a horrible sight. Her stomach twisted in revulsion, until the burned body spoke, in a raspy voice. "Help me." She knelt down, panicked.  
"Who...who are you?" She could tell the person had lost consciousness, so she rolled him over onto his back, gasping as, even with the burnt flesh, she recogonized Spike. As gently as she could, she moved him into her apartment. She got him to her couch and found some rags, using them to clean his wounds. At some point, he roused. She spoke in a soft tone.  
"It's all right Spike. You're safe now." She started cleaning his face. "You have a lot of explaining to do, but it can wait." He opened his eyes and looked at her.  
"Thanks." It came out as a rasp. She stood up.  
"I'm going to call Giles. Maybe he can send one of the girls over with some pig's blood?" Spike grabbed her arm.  
"Don't." She looked at him eyebrow raised as he struggled to sit up. "Giles knows I'm in London. We..." Spike had to stop talking for a moment as a coughing fit racked his body. When he had stopped coughing, he spoke again, in a quieter voice, stopping often. "We were...fighting dragons. The Bit...she got taken. Giles...he almost was. But I...I stopped it. I didn't see the one that had...Dawn until it was...too late. The dragon punched a hole...in the roof, and I was...burnt by the bloody sun." Exhausted by the effort of speaking, he slumped back against the couch.  
"That's why we came back. Giles told us Dawn had been taken, though he left out anything about you." She stood up. "I need to call Giles and at least let him know how unhappy I am that he kept you from us. Especially knowing how Buffy...well, knowing how upset Buffy's been."  
He stared at her, disbelief clear on her face. Willow sighed, knowing they didn't have time for a 'Buffy Loves Spike' speech, so she pulled out her phone, and called Giles. As soon as the Watcher had answered, Willow walked into her room, closing the door behind her so that she'd have some privacy.  
"Giles, Spike is currently on my couch, burnt nearly to a crisp. He said you knew he was..." Giles interrupted her.  
"Willow, let me speak to him, please?" Willow shook her head, then realized he couldn't see her.  
"No, Giles. I'm not sure that's such a good idea. He's pretty badly injured right now, and..." She broke off as the door opened, and Spike stood on the other side, using the doorframe to hold himself up.  
"I'll talk to Rupert." He held his hand out for the phone. Sighing, Willow handed it to him.  
"Spike, Buffy went off looking for Dawn. She took a group of Slayers with her, but she got seperated from them, and the Slayers have returned to the base. I know Willow said you are injured, and I can guess how those injuries were sustained, which makes this all the worse to request. But I need you to help find her." Spike agreed and hung up the phone.  
"I need to find Buffy." He turned, but before he had made it more than a few steps, he collapsed, pain twisting his face.  
"Spike, I don't think you can. Not alone, anyway." She moved to him, kneeling down. "Let me help you. Then, we'll go after Buffy together. Okay?" He looked up at her, eyes fierce.  
"Why?" She looked at him confused. "Why would you bother to help me? I mean, we're not exactly friends. In the past you and the others have made it clear you dislike me." Willow sighed heavily before she spoke.  
"After Sunnydale, when you had died, she tried to hide it, but it was obvious. Buffy was...well, she missed you. That's putting it really mildly, actually. I heard her talking in her sleep one night, and she kept calling out for you, Spike. I know, back then, she spent more time telling you she hated you than anything else but..." Willow was trying to think of something to prove it to him, when a thought occured to her. "Look, if you ever tell her I told you this, I'll stake you myself: remember that spell that made the two of you think you were getting married?" He nodded. "You used your skull ring to propose to her." Again, he nodded, his face lighting up at the memory.  
"If I recall correctly, I 'lost' that ring right after." Willow nodded, smirking.  
"You didn't exactly lose it...it's been safe all this time." She stood up, walking to the kitchen and giving him a moment to let that sink in.  
Spike sat there stunned. Willow watched as several emotions passed across his face. Willow felt a smirk. Spike was just as blind as Buffy had been, as it turned out. She sighed and walked back over to him.  
"Here, let's get you back to the couch. We can't go anywhere until the sun sets anyway, so I'm gonna go out and find some nice pig's blood, and you're going to get some rest. All right?" He started to protest. "See this?" She circled her face with a finger. "You were around us enough that last year to know 'resolve face', Spike." He sighed, but a small smile creapt into his expression.  
"Fine. But the moment the sun sets, I'm bloody well going after Buffy. Even if I have to go alone." She nodded and helped him to the couch.  
"Deal. But get some rest first, because I don't want to see her face if she saw you like this, Spike." She headed for the door. "I'll be back soon."


	10. Chapter 10

Buffy had found the trail of destruction the dragons were leaving behind shortly after she had lost the others. She followed them to a cave, but before she entered it was clear that the cave was guarded. Several large demons stood around the front of the cave.  
She watched, trying to formulate a plan. All she knew was she had to get inside, to where Dawn was being held. But the demons weren't any she had seen before, and she was unsure how to go about fighting them. She watched, for hours, as more demons showed up. She was just about to give up when a voice whispered behind her, and she spun around.  
"You! I thought you were dead, Spike! I thought...I..." She glared at him.  
"Sorry, love. But in all fairness, I am dead. I'm just not deader than usual." He smirked at her.  
Her glare didn't falter for a second, not until she took in his appearance. "What happened?" Worry took the place of anger.  
"That's a good story, for later, love. For now, let's figure out how to get nibblet back." Buffy studied his face and nodded.  
"Okay, Spike. But when we're done, we're going to have a serious conversation about what you've been doing for the last year and why you never bothered to tell me you were back." She was right in front of him, and when she said the word 'you', she poked him in the chest, regretting it the moment she saw the pain in his face. "Are you sure you're up for fighting? You look...terrible." Her eyes roamed over his body, remembering how good it felt having his arms around her, but also feeling pained at the visible wounds she could see. She moved closer to him, suddenly feeling the need to touch him. She reached out, slowly, and touched his check, pulling back when he winced from the burns there. But he reached up and held her hand there, looking into her eyes.  
A throat being cleared broke the moment and she sighed, pulling away from Spike to look at Xander and Willow. She fought the urge to glare, realizing it was Xander who had broken the moment. "Sorry," he said, holding up his hands, "but don't you think maybe we need to focus more on the big nasty demons guarding the cave where Dawny is?"  
Buffy nodded, turning to look at the demons again. Spike spoke again. "We faced some of those nastys in L.A. I barely made it out of there. Probably wouldn't have if that bloody dragon hadn't targeted me." Buffy turned to look at him, studying his wounds. "No, pet these wounds are more recent. Like I said, I'll explain later." He turned to Willow. "Red, can you do something witchy to distract them?"  
Willow nodded, focusing on the demons gathered at the mouth of the cave. She started mouthing some spell too quickly for the others to keep up with. Suddenly, the demons dropped to the ground. She grinned to them, but staggered slightly, showing how much energy the spell had cost her.  
"They're asleep, and won't be for too long. We should get Dawn out before then." The others nodded and they all started down to the cave, picking their way around the unconscious demons. Buffy noticed Spike having a little bit of an issue and looked at him worriedly. He caught the looked and shrugged it off.  
Soon, they were in the mouth of the cave. Willow and Xander pulled out flashlights. Slowly, the four of them made their way through the cave. They came to a cavern, and Buffy spotted Dawn, chained up on a dais.  
She rushed forward, not seeing the dragons until it was too late. Claws raked her back, leaving deep gashes. She fell to the ground, pain stealing her breath for a moment.  
Spike rushed to her side, his own wounds forgotten. He knelt down beside her, blocking her body with his so that the dragons couldn't attack her again.  
The dragon swooped again, claws reaching out and grabbing Spike. Buffy moved up, slicing out at the dragon's leg with a knife. The dragon roared in pain and released Spike. Spike fell to the ground and Buffy rushed over to him.  
Willow had been performing a spell to transport the dragons away. As Buffy reached Spike, the spell took effect, with a brilliant burst of light. Buffy shielded Spike, as the dragons disappeared. She looked up at Dawn on the dais and then down at Spike, unconscious.  
Spike's eyes fluttered open. "Buffy...go help the Bit. I'll be fine." Buffy nodded and stood up, rushing to the dais. She released the chains binding Dawn, and held her close as Dawn started sobbing. Buffy carried her down from the dais, and found Willow standing over Spike, a worried expression on her face.  
"He's unconscious again. Buff, when he came to me, he was so badly burnt, and weak he could barely stand. But when we got the call that you had taken off on your own, he insisted on coming to get you. I healed him as much as I could, but I think it was all superficial." Buffy nodded.  
"Xan, take Dawn please?" Xander came forward and took Dawn, who was currently asleep, into his arms. Willow and Buffy knelt beside Spike's unconscious form.  
"We need to get out of here." Buffy nodded and bent down to lift Spike up. Willow took the other side, and they started back out of the cave.


	11. Chapter 11

It was two days later when Spike woke up. Buffy was sound asleep, her head resting by his arm. He reached out and touched her cheek gently, and she stirred but didn't wake. Bruises could be seen on her arms, and he felt pained at them, knowing she hadn't had them before he had passed out in the cave.  
He sighed, but his thoughts were interrupted. "We were ambushed on the way out of the cave." Spike turned and found Xander sitting on the other side of him. "She managed to fight the demons off, and when we got back here, she basically threw a fit because the healer wouldn't look at you. She's been here beside you ever since. She wouldn't leave, except to check on Dawny every now and then." Spike looked back at Buffy's sleeping form. A slight smile crept over his expression as she smiled in her sleep.  
"How long was I asleep?" He looked back at Xander noticing something different about the way Xander looked back at him.  
"Almost two days." Spike nodded, but Xander continued. "She'd probably never speak to me again if she knew I had told you this, but she was miserable after you...died. Sure, she didn't know I knew, you know? But I knew. And then she punched Angel."  
"She what?" Spike sputtered but was careful not to wake Buffy.  
"Sure. In L.A. he kissed her...and she punched him. I don't know the details, because the Buffster wasn't feeling particularly sharey at that moment in time, Spike." Spike nodded, slumping back against the pillows and feeling drained again. "I'll have one of the girls bring you some blood. They asked me to let them know when you were awake anyway." Xander stood up.  
"Thanks, mate." Xander turned back around and smiled at him before he headed out to the hall. Spike looked back at Buffy. He reached out again and touched her forehead. This time, when she stirred, her eyes opened slowly. She blinked a few times and looked up at him.  
"Oh, uh...hi. You're awake." Buffy sat up in the chair, stretching her muscles.  
"Yes, love. And from what I remember and from what Xander has told me, I owe you a big thanks." She shook her head.  
"No, Spike. You risked your unlife for Dawn and I for...what, the millionth time?" She sighed. "I am still angry that you never bothered to tell me you were back. And when you are healed, there's a round of Kick the Spike in your future because of it...but when I thought you had died in the battle...or that you were about to die in the cave...well, let's just say in the last year I've learned a lot about myself. There are certain feeling I've fought for too long. I refuse to hide them any longer." She reached for his hand squeezing it gently. He squeezed hers back, seeing the tears gathering in her eyes.  
He leaned over, closer to her, and took her face in his hands. Their lips met, and her tears stopped. For a moment, she was shocked, but soon, her lips melted into his. Neither one of them wanted to break the kiss, but when she started to get dizzy, he pulled back. She wore a slightly dazed but genuinely happy expression.  
"Wow. I uh...forgot what I was about to say." She blinked at him.  
"Sorry, love." He sat back against the pillow, a silly grin on his own face.  
There was a knock on the door, and before anyone could answer it, Dawn burst in. "Xander said you were awake. But I wanted to make...OH. I uh...didn't mean to interrupt anything."  
Buffy blushed. "It's fine Dawn." Dawn came in and took the chair Xander had been sitting in. Spike smiled at her.  
"You look good, Bit. Considering you were held hostage by dragons." She smirked.  
"So where did Willow transport them to?" Dawn asked, looking worried. Buffy answered, having asked Willow that herself, a few days earlier.  
"She said she thinks it's a parallel dimension, but she can't be entirely sure. She is certain they're gone for good though." Buffy stood up and moved to her sister, hugging her. "You're safe from them."  
Dawn smiled up at Buffy. Then, she looked at Spike. "So are you still planning on disappearing? I know Giles talked about paying you so you could" Buffy spun and glared at him. "Oops. Maybe I shouldn't have said anything."  
Spike glared at Dawn for a moment, then held up his hands in a placating gesture to Buffy. "Look, love. The Watcher wanted me to leave. He wanted me gone so you could focus on everything here. But I had no intention of leaving." Buffy looked at him intently.  
"Yeah, but did you have any intention of telling me you were here?" She didn't need him to answer, as she knew him well enough to read the expression on his face. "That's what I thought." She stood up and started to walk away, but Dawn grabbed her hand.  
"Buffy, hear Spike out. Because I refuse to be around you if you don't. You've missed him like crazy since Sunnydale. I'm not letting you leave him now over something so stupid." Dawn stood up. She was now over a foot taller than Buffy. It worked to her advantage though, as she looked down at her older sister. "You know I have a point, Buff."  
Buffy glared up at Dawn, but nodded. She turned back to Spike. "Spike, I understand why you didn't call. I do. But that doesn't make it all better."  
Spike nodded. "Did you really punch Captain Forehead?" Buffy blushed. Dawn looked at her, and her mouth fell open.  
"I...uh...maybe? Ugh, he just made me so mad." She sighed. "And really, he didn't do anything wrong, he just..." She moved closer to him and sat back down on the edge of his bed. "I never went to Rome. I was never with the Immortal." Spike's eyes widened ever so slightly, but she caught it.  
"Wh...what do you mean? We saw you there." Buffy was already shaking her head.  
"We didn't trust Angel. When we heard he went to work for Wolfram and Hart, I was sure he was evil again. So Andrew came up with the idea of putting a decoy me in Rome, and a few other places, and making her date the Immortal. I have no idea why he did the last part, but he said it would be hilarious." Spike glared, and Buffy read why on his face. "Were you jealous, Spike?"  
He started to shake his head, but knew she had already seen it. He sighed heavily. "Fine. Bloody hell. I was jealous of the Immortal when I thought you were with him. Happy now, pet?"  
Buffy smiled. "Yes as a matter of fact." She reached out and touched his cheek, and he turned his head to kiss her palm. Dawn cleared her throat.  
"I'll let you two get back to whatever it was you were doing." She turned with a big grin on her face and left the room. Buffy curled up beside Spike, her head on his chest. They fell asleep like that, his arms holding her against him, a smile on both their faces.  
Some time later, Buffy woke up. She wasn't sure exactly what, but some noise had woken her up. She sat up, and couldn't hear it anymore. She looked back at Spike, and noticed his chest rising and falling. She pressed her ear to his chest and heard the steady rhythm of a heart beat. Confused, she sat back up, looking at his face. Already, he was looking less pale than normal. She stood up and rushed from the room to find Willow.  
By the time they returned, Spike was sitting up in bed. It was clear by the expression on his face, that he knew something was different, but couldn't place just what at first. She saw the moment he realized it and couldn't help but smirk.  
"Bloody hell! I'm human! My heart...it's bloody beating!" Willow moved closer to Spike.  
"I have no clue what could have caused it." Buffy smiled.  
"I think I do. Remember the Shanshu thingy that Angel and the others were all going on about? I bet it was transferred to Spike at some point. After all, he's proven himself time and time again. If anyone deserved it, it's him." She beamed at Spike, who smiled back at her, though a bit slower.  
He knew it'd mean a lot of things were different, that he'd be giving up a lot. But when he looked at her face, Spike knew he'd breathe again, as long as it gave him time with her.

((Sequel to come soon! :) ))


End file.
